How to Get Married When Everything Around You is Falling Apart
If you’re engaged or ready to take the next step in your relationship, you’re probably looking around and thinking
“Well WTF do I do now?”
Don’t worry!
We’ve put together a simple step-by-step guide to show you how to get married, even when everything sucks.
Although this is the first step, it’s by far the hardest.
(There are like 7 billion people on the freaking planet!)
You have to find someone who will put up with your weird eating habits, whose bad jokes you can tolerate, and who you could stand being quarantined with for 6 weeks.
A best friend who you also think is sexy. A sexy best friend.
SBF FTW!
It's also by far the most important step - f*ck this one up and you may as well start from scratch.
You think someone who’s not the love of your life is going to fight an old lady to get you some hand sanitizer? I think not.
You’ve found the right person, and you’re ready to get that tax cut.
It’s time for the easiest, yet scariest step.
Now you have to either propose, discuss the idea of marriage, or wait for an indeterminable amount of time for your person to pop the question.
In a world of travel restrictions, social distancing, and fights over bottled water, I say go for it!
CARPE DIEM!!!
Hooray! One of you mustered up some courage (or you had a conversation about finances) and now you’re engaged!
CONGRATS!!
But how do you celebrate??
Do you love your parents and siblings and can’t imagine them not being present for any of life’s biggest moments (but you also hate being the center of attention)?
Micro Wedding for you!!
When you think about Aunt Suzy who you met once missing the moment you cut the cake does it make you want to cry?
Big wedding time!!
Does the thought of doing the "ChaCha Slide” make you want to vomit?
Yeah f*ck that sh*t, let’s elope!!!
Do none of these quite sound right and you want something TOTALLY unique?
Hellsssss yeah, I GOT YOU! (Click here and let’s chat!)
So now that you’ve decided on the type of party you want, it’s time to start making legit plans.
Going for a big wedding with 400 of your closest friends?
I’d highly recommend hiring an amazing planner (like one on our ne fave vendors page).
Leaning more towards a mid-sized or intimate gathering or thinking you might want to elope?
Hire an amazing photographer who also offers planning help, wedding advice, and even offers full service elopement + micro wedding packages* (like us)!
*These packages may seem pricier than typical photography packages in the beginning, but they totally make up for it in the end - not only by helping you save money in other areas, but giving you incredible memories to look back on.
We’re also scientists and can answer all your coronavirus questions (just kidding, but we can help you navigate your nuptials in a world of uncertainty.)
Pro tip - wear WHATEVER THE F*CK YOU WANT!
It’s your day and you should feel like an absolute rock star (or glamour model, or dinosaur...I’m not here to judge).
That might be a white dress - or might not - and that’s okay!
Here are a few alternatives for brides that we adore:
Jumpsuits
Patterns
Floofy cocktail dresses
SEQUINSSSSSSS
Pants suits
Astronaut suit?
And for the grooms - YOU DO YOU TOO!
Wanna wear a tux or suit? That’s cool!
Think you might wanna rock a kilt or dress or toga instead? Have at it!
Non-binary or gender fluid and don’t identify specifically as a bride or groom? Hells yeah! Let’s talk fashion and I’ll help you come up with an idea for something SICK (channeling Billy Porter whaaaaat)
(Regardless, it’s probably important you choose something that you can run in if you have to - zombies could still become a thing so it’s better safe than sorry…)
p.s. This is an amazing time to consider the bigger impact of what you buy. In fact, I’ll be putting together a whole blog post soon that explains ways you can be eco-friendly, support independent artists, and be your best self - including links to some of my favorite fashion resources. Look for that soon, or chat me up here if you want all the deets now!
Here we’ve put together a quick FAQ with some common wedding problems and simple solutions.
"I have an overbearing family member who’s trying to take over.”
F*ck ’em! It’s your day, do what you want. In 10 years when you look back at the photos you’ll be glad you stuck your ground.
“Traditions are lame - I don’t understand why I have to dance in front of everyone.”
F*ck that - The only thing you HAVE TO DO is sign papers.
“The venue I love is booked on our date.”
F*ck this - It just wasn’t meant to be (or if you can’t imagine using any other space then just change your flipping date - done)
“I really don’t like cake.”
F*ck it - Have pie or macarons or cheese instead!
“There’s a global pandemic and everything is whack.”
F*ck itttt (JK this one's a little more serious) - either set a date far enough in advance that things will likely be back to normal, or wait until everything starts to settle down and then make more concrete plans.
“I’m worried that if someone attacks me for my toilet paper stash a bouquet might put me at a disadvantage.”
Well…I’d say you’re probably ok, but I wouldn’t get too attached to it (TP takes priority in my opinion…)
Sidenote: if you already have a date set but now there’s a virus spreading around, you may have to consider what is most important to you and your partner.
The wedding of your dreams:
If your heart is set on the big wedding with all the bells and whistles, call your venue and find out how far out they’re cancelling events and what their rescheduling policies and dates look like.
Then reach out to your planner and/or photographer and see which dates they have available if the worst case happens and you have to postpone. Choose a new date that works for your favorite vendors and close family members, reach out to any other vendors you already had booked and start spreading the word to the rest of your guests.
Then burn some sage (can’t hurt right?)
Marrying your soulmate:
If you’re mostly having a big wedding to please your parents and you really just want to promise yourselves to one another (or you just need to get on your partner’s health insurance policy asap) then hit up a rad elopement photographer/planner (hello!).
They’ll help you get everything set up in a jiffy, bring along an officiant (who will stand at an appropriate distance), and guide you to the nearest people-free waterfall, garage rooftop, or secret overlook where you can just focus on your love.
Then, once life starts getting back to normal, you can decide if you want to throw a party to celebrate with friends and family.
Then burn some more sage (seriously we need all the good vibes we can get right now).
I know some of this might seem incredibly obvious, but you’d be surprised at the amount of people who get married and then do this thing called “divorce” (trust me I know from personal experience, and it sucks…)
In the end, after all the decor is gone, the cake is eaten (or sneezed on by your potentially infectious 7 year old cousin), and the last notes of “Wagon Wheel” have floated out of your brain, the only thing that matters is this:
When the world goes to shit, and all you can do is sit and watch;
who do you want holding your hand as everything falls down around you?
If your answer is the person who's already beside you, then no matter what happens,
you’re going to be just fine.
